The After Break Up Rules. Finally here. Tackling this mighty subject. I had to swear and do the oath I will get to this subject, this week, or else….! This has been the topic of constant conversation I’ve had with, literally 13-14 women over the past few weeks. I don’t even know how we got to the point, I guess it was initiated with their recent break-ups, me joking with them about it, them freaking out how I guessed so many details they were going through, and them going crazy about it: Dude! You need to write about this! We need to know this!

Don’t you feel it’s funny how cocky we were, as teenagers, when elders were telling us stuff about life and we dismissed them with: Yeah, right, what do you know?! I know better! I’ll do better! And then you grow up and realize, life is eerily similar. Almost the same. All those songs you listen, the quotes you keep in your phone, the movies; all those things you hear or see that hit you in the heart; someone experienced that before you. Someone wrote it. And it came to you, to comfort you. Or to completely destroy your ass!

Some things are just standard. But don’t you feel better when you can relate? Knowing it’s not just you? It’s EVERYONE? Me, I love to relate to people’s experiences. As matter of fact, I quiz them all the time about life. Younger than me, older than me, everyone. I learn from them all. I like to collect experiences. Maybe that’s why I’m so smart, cool & awesome. Sorry! I just wanted to see how that sentence looks like, in writing. Always wondered how it is to praise yourself, you know like all those – I’m killing it – people I can’t stand?

Back to the track! The After Break Up Rules. This is not something I invented, it’s what I heard, saw, felt. It’s what you experienced and/or you probably will. The point is not to prevent yourself from going through it, the point is recognizing the pattern and traps, avoid it and take care of yourself.

Let’s go.

If you broke up with someone, or he broke up with you; its completely the same. If you decided you don’t want to be in that relationship, you surely have a legit reason. If he left you, go through the initial pain/shit/heartbreak, and get out of it. You don’t need, or you’re meant to be with anyone that doesn’t want you. I don’t understand how women don’t see it. You can not love someone that doesn’t love you, as simple as that. Let it marinate, this sentence, come back to it.

However strange this sounds, seems like women have more troubles when they leave someone, than other way around. And it’s normal. Because when someone leaves you, there’s nothing you can do. You have your pain period, you cruise through it, come on the other side, done. But when you leave someone, it’s your choice. And being sure in your choice can be a pretty disturbing event. Did I make a mistake? Was I right? Being sure in your choice is the single most rewarding event on the planet.

Rule # 1. Please don’t be unsure in your choice to leave someone. I heard a line somewhere; no one ever left something that was good for them. Unless you’re an unintelligent person, that is, or a complete wacko. And I say, if your body gave you a signal once that you want to leave someone, there’s a reason to it. The one you might not have explanation for at that moment, but the signal your body is giving you, is the right one. You’ll find out the why’s later on.

Rule # 2. When you were about to leave that person you were with, you met so many (or one) other boys that you liked, there was so many options, people hitting on you, calling you left and right. You couldn’t wait to get out of the relationship you didn’t want, to explore something that might be more for you. Right? And then when you were finally single, there was no one! Anywhere. All of a sudden there was just no one around. That is normal. Completely and utterly normal. It’s how the process goes. That fantasy, I will met someone to take me from someone DOES NOT EXIST. You need to take YOURSELF away from someone not right for you. Universe will not give you crutches in a form of a guy, right now.

Rule # 3. After some period passes, you will start meeting people again. Many many guys. BUT they will all be wrong. They will be so wrong, a new word for wrong needs to be invented. DO NOT STRESS THIS PERIOD. Again the fantasy of leaving someone you’re not in love anymore to meet someone great right away, DOES NOT HAPPEN. At this moment, you are desperate to have your decision validated. My ex was wrong for me. Now I should meet someone who has all the qualities that my ex didn’t and life is great, right? Wrong. At this phase of your After Break Up, you need the universe to show you your decision of leaving the ex is right by sending you someone great? But at this phase universe will not send you the confirmation, it will not nudge you. It will actually show you a complete opposite. It will give you such fucking idiots that you will start thinking; “Jesus, he is so wrong, I mean my ex was not that bad, at least he loved me, or at least “… (insert anything that will seem not so terrible about your ex at this point). This is a test. Many girls surrender at this phase and go back to the ex. DO NOT DO IT. Endure it. Your decision was right. You need to fight to show yourself, YOU WERE right.

Rule # 4. After you handled the toughest phase up there, incoming another blast. Your ex will find someone new right now. Super quick. An actual girlfriend. And you’ll be: “Wtf, I left you, how the fuck are you having someone before ME?”. Because that’s guys. Because it’s what they do. Even if their 60 years old! I have an example of it, right in my house. They always move on first. Because they are more easy to please then us, because they’re not looking for too much after having a long ass relationship, and because there’s much more cool women to pick from, then guys. Their options are much much wider. Don’t fret this phase. Remember, your body gave you a signal to leave. That is right. And your ex deserves to be loved by someone else, if you don’t love them anymore. It’s only fair. You do your thing. Stay on your track.

Rule # 5. You’ll have a loads of sex in this phase. You finally realized your long awaited freedom is actually here, you are cool, unburdened, you need to explore. Now it’s the realizing what I want phase. The beginnings of it. Then you’ll get tired of the sex phase. Then you’ll start dating phase. Then you’ll get so tired of everything connected to a male human being around you, and THIS IS THE BEST PHASE OF ALL.

Rule # 6. Welcome to the best period of your After Break Up. Being alone. Being fed up with the old guy, new guys, wrong guys at the right time, right guys at the wrong time, you will be SUPREMELY fed up with EVERYONE. And this is the phase where you actually learn about what you really want! If you picked your ex back then and you thought he’s something you thought he’ll be, means you didn’t know right. Means you didn’t know yourself. Now it’s the time to be alone, on purpose, refuse anyone coming your way, even if they seem cool, because you still don’t know what you really want. It’s in this period you spend time with yourself and learn who YOU are; when you figure out who YOU are, then you can chose right.

Rule # 7. Do not compete or compare. That’s the biggest trap of all. Don’t compete the current state of your life to your ex’, don’t compare to what your girlfriends are doing; nothing, no one. You are competing with no one, but yourself. While everything will be “against you”, making you confused, detouring you to all different and “wrong” directions possible, giving you all the hurt, annoyance, irritation, wrongness you can possibly imagine; it’s just a test. You need to stick to your guns, persevere, swim out on the other side; knowing who you are. Only then you’ll truly know what you want!

And only then you’re truly ready for someone. Maybe even love …