Kicking Ass

Kick Ass. The comic. The movie. Had no clue about it. “You wanna go see it?”. I don’t know, is it any good?”. “Well, it was written by Mark Millar, you know the guy that…..”. Wait, what? Mark Millar? I remembered the guy my BF dragged me to see one day, in one of the most famed LA Comic stores; it was a sit down, sort of like meet and greet with fans. He wanted to see Mark Millar and get one of his comic autographed; I wanted to be worshiped by geeks for one afternoon. Come on, did you see how I look? Wonder Woman, incarnated. Well fine, more like the X-Men’s Jean Grey, Phoenix incarnated. I’m 6 feet tall, what do you want from me, people?!

We came to Golden Apple, the comic store, and bam, cold shower! The naked terror of 1500 people waiting around the block to talk to this guy, see this guy, touch this guy, grope this….ok fine, you get it. There was no way in hell I was going to wait for 5 hours to have a comic book signed, being the Superhero diva and all, even though I was in geek worship heaven. But when I saw my BF’s disappointed eyes, hell, I had to do something. I had to rescue the autograph mission! Phoenix to the mission!

I went in, counting my geek worshipers will not freak out instantly, cuz I was going to pretend I’m not there to see M. Millar, but rather just wanting to buy something in the store. When I was in, all in my Superhero mode, I came up to the M.M’s bodyguard and asked if I can just give him, the bodyguard, the comic to take it to M.M to sign, and since we don’t really want to talk to him, it shouldn’t be a biggie, right? Two seconds, bam! Wrong. Bodyguard decided he’s going to be all professional and all, so he left me hanging there, even though I flickered the eyelashes till they all fell off, but then the weirdest thing happened! Mark Millar himself saw the whole ordeal, psssst the bodyguard over, and told him to bring me over to him, all over the 1500 geeks and geekettes waiting in line!

What can I tell you. Mark Millar just knows Superhero chicks when he sees one. He was so cool and badass that no one even complained to our rudeness incorporated, well, at least while I was still there. He signed the comic, and that’s where I found out he wrote ‘Wanted’, what’s going to become one of my favorite movies, the one that visually plays with all my senses, in the most peculiar way. And then there’s James McAvoy, too. Kissing Jolie, no less. Peculiar way, I told you.

“You want to go see Kick Ass?”…

“Hell fucking, yeah.”

To tell you about the movie? Sorry. I’m still reliving the 12 year old bashing, kicking and slamming guys all over the place, like it’s a walk in the park. The stylization of the fights are making them almost poetic. It’s like ballet of fighting. It’s interesting; the visual style of the whole movie was so innovative, but it didn’t somehow interfere with the storyline one bit; it was graphic, it was brutal, it was as if you can taste a bit of Tarantino in it.

But the girl. I apologize to other characters, but…..O my god the girl. 12 year old actress, well 13 playing 12 year old to be exact; called Chloe Grace Moretz…..O my god. There’s something so Natalie Portman’s ‘The Professional’ performance in her, it’s amazing. The way she does cold blooded killer with being adorable, it blew my mind. But what’s more mind blowing to me is this kid, 13 year old girl doing action scenes so believably; having an actor in the house and knowing how difficult even regular action scenes can be on a body of a grown 6’3’ man……wow.

This little actress IS a Superhero.

As for all puritans complaining the 12 year old character taking part in this much brutality on screen is what’s bad for America’s youth; I say, please. Idiotic cheating divorcing parents do much worse on child’s psyche, every day.

It’s a movie, it’s unreal, it’ escapism, it’s fantasy. Let me enjoy the notion of slamming jerks around walls for two hours, when I can’t fuckin’ do it in real life.