Aloha! So many things happening in the following days, many interesting subjects hitting the space, but before I get to those I wanted to get some current subjects out of the way! I know everyone feels emotional and drunk with aspects or expectations of love in the Spring time, but I really hope we can move on from dwelling too much about our private lives, and concentrate on bettering ourselves, learning things, evolving.

I really wish I could wake up sometimes and get emails like – “what should I do with this job, where should I travel, what should I research/learn/know, how can I create, reach”; and not only – “this guy did this, said this, what do you think that means, what do you think I should do”…and so on. I created the category #Situationships so we can relate, compare, laugh about it; not to stress about people not worth our time. So let’s get this subject out of the way, and enjoy this following weeks with loads of exciting things coming up!

In last few weeks, we talked about not playing games, being yourself, seeing the signs someone’s a dick, and moving along. We talked about evolving, working on your emotional intelligence so you can recognize these things. Last of your emails were in the tone of – “but we are perfect together, we were great, we had amazing time, I know he liked me a lot, and then it just went away!”.

I believe you. I don’t even think you’re lying. Men do that all the time. It’s really simple. Intelligence. Emotions and love and relationships are connected to intelligence, not just instinct, attraction. In order to understand what’s up, you need to be intelligent. That thing that most of people, specifically men, aren’t these days.

I read an article a while ago on Huff Post about this woman telling her story how she found love in Ikea. She went to return few items. He was working on the exchange/returns. They flirted, hit it off, dated, got engaged. I forgot what was the moral of the story, if not, go to Ikea! You can find love anywhere! It happens! …..and like platitudes, but what resonated with me is one sentence she said – “it worked because we were two people WILLING to try”.

See, that. There.

Let me digress for a second. Its not just about finding someone good for you. It’s finding someone good for you WHO UNDERSTANDS IT. There’s many people good for you on this planet, but they don’t see it. They just don’t get it. They are not willing to see it. You shouldn’t even be demoralized by this fact, you should just realize it super-quick and scram! Move along.

Someone can be your soulmate and not see it. Not get it. Unfortunately, as I mentioned up there, it takes an intelligence required from the opposite side to see it. It makes you mad, right? Getting rejected when you see the potential? You can’t seem to stop thinking –”But I’m sooooo cool! Wtf is your problem?!”. His problem is intelligence. Willingness.

Let me give you a tiny example. I have this thing about me I call 3 phases. First is how people perceive me by hearing about me, reading, checking out my pics or social media. All those paint a picture I’m this high maintenance, bitchy, diva avatar. So the guys that approach me are those who actually crave all that. Then when they meet me, the phase 2 comes in. Them seeing I’m completely opposite, I’m super low key, I’m a tomboy, I don’t like fuss, you can do/go anything with me, there’s no men stuff/women stuff. Then my phase 3 the actual me, a bit of both. So when the guy meets me, expects phase 1, sees phase 2, some of them do not wait out until phase 3 and complete picture. They create their opinions based on their presumptions. They don’t like phase 2. They don’t like simple. They like high maintenance. They like the avatar. Would I be great with some of those people? Absolutely. But there were not intelligent enough to see it.

I’m not one of those people that will tell you – “you are great honey, don’t be sad, he just doesn’t deserve you, he’s not right for you“, yabba yabba yabba. No, he probably does & is. What he’s not is just simply – intelligent.

Before you kill yourself with analyzing how everything was perfect and what went wrong, understand that not everyone’s sharp, quick, not everyone is in-tuned with the world, movements, not everyone gets it. And you can’t put yourself down trying to explain to them you are great for them & vice versa.

Not everyone will get you. Not everyone’s intelligent. The fact you got along great is something you shouldn’t concentrate on. Concentrate on people getting the essence of you. Concentrate on people seeing. Knowing. Concentrate on people WILLING.

Simple as a 1,2,3, right?!

RIGHT. Say it 3 times. Repeat. Install it in your Operating System.

And when you meet guys, don’t focus on your relation, what he tells you, don’t focus on “having a man”. Focus on seeing how he behaves, how he’s in the crowd, among people, how he talks, how much he knows and pays attention to, concentrate on whether he’s sharp, quick, tuned in. Check off (or don’t) those things first.

Once he starts showcasing the discrepancies between his words & actions, you’ll understand why it’s happening. Be step ahead! Don’t get blindsided.