A famous older actress once told me, at dinner, in her Hollywood Hills house where I ended up by sheer circumstance: “Remember this thing. People are never ever going to be jealous at your youth or beauty or your money or success…

… I knew more is coming but that was pretty monumental entrance, I had to freeze in time, until the rest followed: ”…as they will be jealous at your drive, energy, and most of all – for having the balls to do what scares them”.

I left that dinner a bit puzzled with that statement; people are ALWAYS jealous at beauty or money or youth or success, BUT as I lived more and more years on this planet, her words hit me in the form of so many confirmations of what she said.

People are not jealous at what they can’t change. People are jealous and pissed and angry at what they COULD be, but have no strength/drive/energy to achieve. Hating is easier.

Enter Keanu Reeves. What the hell happened last week? Drama, think pieces, articles, Twitter mayhem, all around insanity about the girlfriend that is not 25, and the girlfriend that has grey hair.

I’m happy we arrived here. Because now is the moment. These two people know each other for a decade, these two held hands on minimum 6 red carpets so far, and now? Why all the noise now? Because the shift happened. Didn’t I tell you the shift will happen in some of my previous articles?

I am amazed with all think pieces this moment produced. Keanu Reeves having an age appropriate girlfriend, who does not color her grey hair. From women thanking Alexandra for existing so they can feel better about age, about grey hair, hopeful there might be a place in the world for middle aged women after all; from men criticizing the women’s think pieces for promoting a notion of looking for a man to supply the moral (and physical) support of accepting oneself, “Keanu picked her, therefore she is valid, therefore we are valid…”. My head hurts.

What everyone fails to understand here, this is not about THE KEANU. Its hard to separate this notion from the story, I get it, isn’t it sad just how much women’s validation depends on a man and what he thinks and weather he will “pick us” or not. We are worthy if he does, and worth nothing if he (any he) doesn’t. Is hard to distinguish the fact Keanu is not the champion of this story when you have Leonardo Di Caprio’s of this world running around and Josh Duhamel’s, lets say, who after the divorce from Fergie only dated 25 year olds and when questioned by the reporter about it, said – “Well its not that I prefer really young women, but you know, I want to have more kids so I practically HAVE TO look at really young women…” – ok buddy, sit down. 

Its hard. BUT why blame these men? Trust me, and I know some of them really well, they do not pick 25 year old just because they are 25 year old, that’s some of it, but it’s the least of it. They pick them because 25 year olds are the only ones who can get impressed by most of these losers.

This is not about Keanu. This is about Alexandra. And the reason why people are so fired up about this story is not because people got validation aging is cool, its because people are slowly starting to realize they have nothing going on for them BUT youth and beauty. Why does this woman bother you? Even those who say “she is so cool and they are so cute”, feel some type of way. Many are annoyed with this. Less annoyance is caused by – Keanu is not single anymore scenario, like he would knock at your door if he was, everyone is annoyed because – read the beginning of my post.

Because this woman DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK. You want to be this. You want to be this woman who can not be bothered to give two fucks to color her hair and at least appear younger, you wish you could be this free, this secure in what you are, grey hair and wrinkles and SUBSTANCE.

Most women are not free. Not free from spending hours and money trying to look their best, only to get dumped, cheated on, or never even “picked”. And if you have a guy, you keep looking at other women, better looking women, younger women, in constant state of fear or losing him to something. You are not free.

“People are never ever going to be jealous at you for your beauty, youth, money or success. They will be jealous at your drive, energy and most of all for having the balls to do what scares them”

Alexandra, just by existing, tapped in everyone’s fear. Young and beautiful women’s fear that beauty is not enough and the fact you will age out instagram, and then what? And older women fear of insecurity of an age only a man can validate.

The minute you start thinking you are old, you’re old. The minute you start thinking you are not enough, you won’t be. The minute you start thinking everyone is better than you, they are.

Age, it’s been seen as an insult. An offense. And seeing someone not sidelined by it, stunned everyone. The shift came, my friends. Hide your instagrams. Life, outside of little cube awaits, and it ain’t pretty for all of you living in jails of what you, or society, or men expect of you.