I used to love the term self-care, as well as what it meant. Taking care of yourself, doing things to please yourself, giving yourself a little bit of TLC to be able to take on the harshness of the world. My self-care was meditation every night to silent my mind, massage once of week, tea, the process of preparing food, swim, a pint of Haagen Dazs.

Recently, I can not stand those two words put together. SELF. CARE.

Self-care became nothing more than the excuse of a mentally weak minds to be selfish human beings, disrespectful of others, their time, emotions and wrap it all up in the self-care folder.

Disrespecting plans “i just have to do a bit self-care”, blowing off people “i just have to self-care”, goes on and on and on, to the exact same tune.

I’m sure you know those types. If you still can’t recognize them, let me help you: they use the words AMAZING and REVOLUTIONIZE and GROWTH a lot. They often mention their much needed rest, relaxation and rejuvenation as justifying being shit towards you and others. They also say things like – “You can’t forget to put your self-care first” while not texting you back after they suggested you do something together.

They also talk about their amazing beautiful friends and amazing beautiful time, they like to put their bare feet on the earth to do some grounding, be in the direct contact with the earth while not being able to have 15 min conversation or help anyone in need, even if they are the source of someone’s issues.

When you pretend you are an advanced, spiritual being who cares about others while being completely tone-deaf to people’s problems, emotions, time, worry, grief – that ain’t called self-care.

This whole pretending of needing to take care of ourselves to find the excuse to treat people like shit, honestly, it needs to be cancelled. We need OTHER-CARE.  Not self-care. You want to help your self? You want a bit of self-care? Help others! The oldest trick in the book – with helping others you actually help yourself the most.

This self consumption and self obsession disguised in self-care seriously needs to go. Self-care needs to fire its publicist.

Let’s finally call it what it is. Self(ish) care.