I used to love the term self-care and what it meant. Taking care of yourself, doing things to please yourself, giving yourself a little bit of TLC to be able to take on the harshness of the world. My self-care was meditation every night to silent my mind, massage once a week, chamomile tea at night, making food, a good swim, a pint of Haagen Dazs.

Recently, I can not stand those two words put together. SELF. CARE.

Self-care became an excuse. To be selfish. To disrespect other people’s time, emotions, differences; while wrapping it up in a nice, neat self-care folder.

I’m sure you know those types.

If you still can’t recognize them, let me help you: they use the words AMAZING and REVOLUTIONIZE and GROWTH a lot. They often mention their much-needed rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation as a justification for being shit towards others. They also say things like – “You can’t forget to put your self-care first” while not texting you back after they suggested you do something together.

They like to put their bare feet on the soil to do some grounding, be in direct contact with mother earth, all while not being able to have 15 min conversations to help anyone in need, even when they’re being the source of someone’s issues.

When you pretend you are an advanced, spiritual being who cares about others while being completely tone-deaf to people’s problems, emotions, time, worry, grief – that isn’t called self-care. Regardless of how hard you try.

This whole pretending of needing to take care of ourselves to find the excuse to treat people like shit, honestly, it needs to be canceled. We need OTHER-CARE.  Not self-care. You want to help yourself? You want a bit of self-care? Help others! The oldest trick in the book – with helping others you actually help yourself the most.

Self-consumption and self-obsession disguised in self-care seriously need to go. Self-care needs to hire a new publicist.

Let’s finally call it what it is. Self(ish) care.