I wrote a lot about Meghan & Harry. I discussed how their royal exit (Megxit) is actually a love story. I wrote about Meghan’s effect on women on International Women’s Day last year. I also wrote a Column for Buro Magazine about their Oprah’s Interview and its effect.

And here we are, in the aftermath.

What can we summarize about this interview, or as some call it “the television event of the year”?

If I need to summarize it in one sentence, it’s this one:

“To be publicly unpleasant about the influence of others”

I didn’t coin this term. I wrote an article about someone that did. Her name is Van Badham and in her article Article for Guardian, she discusses the conservative public outcry about Harry Styles wearing a dress on the cover of Vogue.

This term stayed with me. I think it can be used to explain so much in today’s hysteric society. And most of all, hysterics about Harry & Meghan. Their haters are mostly publicly upset about their influence.

It was cool when they were members of the Royal Family. Royals are so far out, so untouchable, we can’t really hate on them, right? But now that these two are civilians, hate is a given? How dare these two run around still “wearing” their titles (they lost the HRH title, not Dukedom), buying a mansion in Santa Barbara (with their own cash), walk around talking pics while claiming they want privacy (those words literally never escaped their mouths, they said they want FAIR reporting), be in front of our faces all the time (using clout to bring awareness to causes), just how dare they?

“To be publicly unpleasant about the influence of others”.

However you break down your hate for them, if you in fact are one of those “not approving” of their lifestyles, you are upset at their influence. You can try to deny it and tell yourself the audacity of their ______ insert whatever it is that bothers you about them, but you are in fact upset about their influence. Because you don’t have any.

Their lives absolutely don’t affect yours in any way or form. You should not even think about these two above the level of entertainment. Or interest in the causes they are involved in. You can absolutely totally ignore them too.

I like how Lainey Gossip, my go-to when it comes to Royals summarized the aftermath of the Oprah with Harry & Meghan:

Harry and Meghan are disrupting the status quo in multiple institutions, the monarchy and the media, with a major assist from Oprah, and not their own family members.

In fact, during the interview, Harry said that the British royals are afraid of the UK tabloid media, and that that’s the reason why they won’t challenge it and instead are in bed with them.

When you contrast that with what we’re seeing now, and the immediate consequences of Harry and Meghan’s interview, the fact that the media is being challenged, and the media is challenging itself, the British royal family kowtowing to the tabloids becomes that much more pronounced.

Like why wouldn’t they want to fight the good fight? Why wouldn’t they want to be onside with what’s right?”

Or in the words of another dear to my heart Royal Expert – R. S. Locke:

“On one hand, this couple represents the height of privilege and power. Yet, their personal story, both together and apart, is one of very publicly challenging the establishment and using their proximity to power to uplift those who have been marginalized.”

Whatever you thought about their interview or Meghan’s claims she was suicidal, you are not the authority in deciding if her claims are legit. She has a right to talk about her experiences however she feels fit. Whatever it is that actually happened there, and if she really did or didn’t get the support she asked for, there was a lot of royalsplaining, mansplaining, and whitesplaning of a crisis.

It shouldn’t be that hard. And whoever is defending that institution should not try that hard in making them seem human.

They aren’t, given you’re trying so hard.

Every truth has two sides, or the side of the one telling it, but again, in the words of a brilliant Lainey:

“Not really sure how recollections can vary when there are questions about how un-white a baby might be but also, this is gaslighting. It’s a colonizer gaslighting the parents of a biracial child, one of whom is a Black woman, and whitesplaining to them what is and isn’t racist. And then ending it with “we will always love Harry, Meghan, and Archie” right after that is …well… it’s patronizing and gross. Because nothing in that statement is about love.”

Basically, you’re trying to defend these people by telling us all they aren’t that bad. Let that marinate for a few minutes.

Are “not that bad of a people” really good people?

Meghan is threatening to a patriarchy and class pyramid. There is no nicer way of putting it. She will always be a threat, working Royal or not. Her existence is threatening. Leaving the Royal Family simply wasn’t enough.

R.S. Locke breaks it down brilliantly:

“For society to maintain order, she (Meghan) must be reclassified and her elite status conferred by marriage removed. But, the society is trapped in a conundrum. Her husband and their children are at the top of the pyramid by birth and by blood. Removing titles, military honors, and patronages won’t remove her from the top of the pyramid. The only thing that will reclassify her is to remove her from her husband…and the society has been working diligently, though unsuccessfully, to that end since the day they learned that Harry and Meghan were a couple.”

Only, Royal Family didn’t learn much from the Diana era. I read a brilliant assessment the other day, saying: “Only this time, they didn’t deal with aristocrat’s teenage daughter, someone they thought they could manipulate and gaslight into submission. Now they were dealing with a 30-something American woman who worked and lived in the real world. A woman who took one good look into the entire organization and jumped. And took her prince too.”

The only thing left is trying to discredit her in the media. Subtly place the articles meant to form your negative opinion about her. Therefore, and not just in the case of Harry & Meghan but most of the things, events, or people written about today – a media reform is desperately needed.

In Harry’s words:

“As an couple, we believe in media freedom and objective, truthful reporting. We regard it as a cornerstone of democracy and in the current state of the world – on every level – we have never needed a responsible media more. Up until now, we have been unable to correct the continual misrepresentations – something that these select media outlets have been aware of and therefore exploited on a daily and sometimes hourly basis.”

I have been banging on this since 2005. Media reform. Media responsibility in fair and unbiased reporting is crucial to a healthy society. You might think you don’t need it, but you do. The anxiety, depression, and lack of focus you feel are due to the garbage you read online.

Yes, people can have opinions. But those opinions need to stand behind real names. Your opinion should come hand in hand with accountability. Everything else is just – being publicly unpleasant about the influence of others. Due to the lack of our own.

We MUST do better.