How Much For A Dream

Ah, life, my cool people. It's a roller-coaster, right? Deep, huh? I’ve got the biggest headache right now, and I’m far too out of it to get some medicine. So, naturally, I’m going to write about it—headache and all. Obstacles. They’re good, right? We need them. The only way we truly know we’re alive is when we overcome something. We’ve conquered, we’ve made it, and that feeling is unmatched—at least, that’s how I feel when I push through the tough moments.

Lately, I’ve been pretty obsessed with life—its twists, turns, and random ways. What’s the deal with how things happen? Do they just occur, or do we make them happen? I used to believe life laid out paths for us, clear and easy directions to follow. You know, the easy stuff. The guy who shows up in your life, the one who feels “right,” because, why would the universe bring him to you if it weren’t meant to be, right?

Well, let me tell you, I was wrong. I’ve cracked the code, or at least, I think I have. The universe? It’s not guiding us; it’s playing with us. It’s not leading us down simple, obvious paths—it’s throwing up roadblocks and challenges. Every step forward is harder than the last. The key isn’t following what’s easy; it’s trusting your gut. Trust that feeling deep down, even when everything else around you screams for something else.

And when it’s the most confusing? When you need to make a decision that could change your life? That’s when it gets brutal. Life doesn’t give you any signs telling you where you should go. It’s not leading you; it’s testing you, challenging you. If you need to leave, it will make staying seem like the only option. If you need to stay, it’ll make leaving feel impossible. And the point? It’s to fight, to resist, to trust yourself.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say something that might piss some people off. You know those folks who are all over social media, posting about how "in love with life" they are? That’s the easy route, the one where you go with the flow, accept whatever comes your way, and convince yourself it’s exactly what you wanted.

Hey, I’m not going to go that far and quote the epic happy people speech from Scandal’s Cyrus Beene: "Lately, you’ve been happy. You’re happy, but we both know that happy people are rarely actually happy, unless they’re morons. You are a brilliant man, a Rhodes scholar, and a PhD, which means you’re acting happy!"

But I will say this: life is a brutal motherfucker. To really conquer it, you’ve got to navigate its traps. And trust me, there are plenty. You can go the “in love with life” route—just accept everything and tell yourself it’s what you want. Or, you can fight for what you truly desire. Either way, there’s a price. Every choice comes with its consequences.

For the last couple of months, my life has felt like the opening credits to a True Blood episode. It’s almost comical how life kept throwing curveballs my way—one after another, ridiculous situations piling up, all to confuse me, all to test my resolve. I knew what I wanted, I had a gut feeling, but life complicated it every step of the way. Should I go with the flow, settle into a life where I liked the people but didn’t love the life? Or should I fight for what I truly wanted?

I couldn’t stop fighting. I left everything behind, changed my life completely after living the same way for almost a decade. Was it right? I have no clue. That’s the thing, isn’t it? We don’t know if we’re right until we’re right. Life won’t show us the way. We have to lead ourselves. It won’t feel right when you make that decision. That’s why most people never follow through—they want confirmation, but life doesn’t give it to you. It challenges you, throws doubt in your face, and you have to resist. You have to push forward, ignoring the signs trying to mess with you. Stick with your gut, focus on your goals, and keep going—even when it’s hard.

Dreams always come with a price. I look at my life now—back in Los Angeles—and it may seem like a dream from the outside. Every drive down a palm tree-lined road with the ocean on one side feels like paradise, but trust me, it comes with a cost. LA is the hardest place I’ve ever lived, and nothing here comes easy. The price for every beautiful experience is steep.

And when I see those “in love with life” people, I can’t help but judge. They think life is just sunshine and palm trees, that it’s all easy. But they don’t see the struggle behind it, the effort it takes to get to a place where you’re truly living your dream. To have the things you want, you have to work for them—take risks, make sacrifices, and lose people along the way. I’ve chosen my battles. I’ve chosen my dream. For every good thing I have in my life, something else has been lost. I’ve paid the price for my dreams.

How much are you willing to pay for yours?