I Meant a Good Reason

Did the lack of our social life for the past year make us look more intensely at the TV shows and movies for the references and inspiration we lacked in our lives? Yes, the sole purpose of entertainment is to raise questions we can implement in our own lives, but we didn’t discuss fiction with the same vigor as our real lives. After all, it’s all made up.

Enter the pandemic and the lack of our own social lives - we started to dissect the shows we watch with the same conviction once reserved for our friends, hours on the phone analyzing why that and that guy did this or that.

We discuss the toxicity of the characters on TV Shows like they are our own boyfriends, we dissect their decisions towards female characters like it’s been done to us, we live on Netflix; these people replaced our real friends, and their fictional lives replaced the lack of our social lives.

I’m not complaining. In fact, I like it.

The speed and the noise of our lives before we got shut down prevented us to concentrate on small details; it averted us from seeing who really deserves to be in our lives. The “slow down” we were forced to make somehow made us see everything we tolerated, like “allowing” friends without qualities we look for in people to still remain in our circle, thinking we can put them in a certain folder and control the situation. We can’t. The casualness in deciding on your posse never brought good results.

People are not documents that will never pop out of the folder. If you keep someone without empathy around you, that will pop out. They will pop out. I will affect you. You can’t control it. Keeping them around just to keep them or because you have no energy to remove them, will bite you in the ass, sooner or later.

We might be aware, but we’re not prepared. The world slowing down made us see, with more clarity - who needs to be taken out of our space.

· · ·

I watched everything that could be watched. As I’m sure you did. We all finished Netflix. Some TV shows/movies were there to pass my time, but some made a mark. Some were more important than others and made me see clearly what changes I want to make in my social life - when we return to it. They taught me about people, folders, and qualities.

A show that surprised me pleasantly in my quest to throw away the slightest resemblance of bullshit once I return back to real life, is a Norwegian show - ‘Home For Christmas’. If you didn’t watch it, I highly recommend it; it didn’t start in a way I would automatically think I’d love it, but in Season two something just happened.

The show is about a 30-something-old nurse Johanne. She is single; her parents bug her about being an only child with no boyfriend or spouse, so she goes on a number of speed dates to find a guy she could bring home for Christmas.

We go through a plethora of wrong characters with her, the obviously wrong men: an aggressive short guy that starts fights, a sports freak who makes everything a competition, a seemingly great guy who ends up picking apart your favorite movie and everything else you like in life, a 20-year-old Swedish party kid who made you come 5 times in one night, and older politician who ends up screwing your mother.

I see where the show’s going at this point, leading us to cheer for Johanne ending up with a handsome tall doctor she works with. He has the hots for you, but you don’t notice it while being taken with a bunch of losers and their issues, looking for someone like the doctor, but not actually him, for 10 or so episodes, before realizing he’s the ultimate endgame.

But in season two, something magical happens. Spoilers ahead, STOP READING if you don’t want to spoil the show. All of a sudden, magic - she got together with the doctor, but sometimes perfection on the outside isn’t what you really want. The doctor turns out to be an annoying, clean freak, a dick who cheats on you at the first chance of trouble.

You come to a conclusion figure out you like the 20-year-old kid in fact, and he’s the one who actually sent you 100 roses, he baked you bread the last time he saw you and he dumped you last year only fearing he’s not good enough for you. You saw him again, and the feeling is there. Again.

Enter next year’s family Christmas. Johanne is once again questioned about the prospects of a partner. Her family starts grilling her, but, remember I said magic - a twist; it’s much different than last year. When she mentions the 22-year-old kid by accident, the family wants to know more, whereas I’m thinking the spiel is coming about - “He’s too young for you, Johanne”, but no, magic appears at the Christmas dinner table:

Sister in law: “And the Swedish guy gave you 5 orgasms in one go?”

Johanne: “Yeah. That’s a bit private, but yeah.”

Dad: “What does he do for a living?”

Johanne: “He’s in college. Studying to be a teacher.”

Brother: “Is he a nice guy”?

Neighbor: “O yeah, he’s super nice, I actually met him here.”

Brother in law: “Is he handsome?”

Neighbor’s daughter: “Handsome as hell.”

Friend: “And he like sent you some flowers?”

Sister: “Yes, a 100 roses. Last Christmas Eve.”

Friend: “That’s beautiful. I’ve never done that.”

Dad: “Johanne is a capable woman who is in charge of her love life. I’m sure she has a good reason not to take it further with the Swede. Right, Johanne?”

Johanne: “Well, he’s only 20 years old, so…”

Dad: “I meant a good reason.”

I MEANT A GOOD REASON.

Mom: “How do you feel when you’re together? Aside from orgasms.”

Johanne: “ I laugh a lot when I’m with him. He’s very funny. He’s generous. I feel really safe. There’s next to no fuss. I feel whole, in a way.”

I MEANT A GOOD REASON.

Maybe I’ve been a Covid captive for way too long, but hail mary Norwegians for creating this dialogue, for breaking the norm of - I need to find a SUITABLE man, older, tall, successful, to please my family and everyone around me, and for creating a totally different narrative of what should be acceptable. Acceptable is what is acceptable to YOU, with total disregard for how that looks on the outside.

I was never agreeable with what society or family expects from me, but even more so now after all these experiences 2020/2021 brought us, all the tortures we experienced with our families and closest to us where we all got mauled, chewed and spat out with constant judgments and close-mindedness; I have only 5 words you: I MEANT A GOOD REASON.

(Remove all the folders).

End scene.