Real, Slash, Digital

There’s going to be a lots of talk on this platform about the traps of digital society, and how to live in it. Times are what they are, we can’t escape it, but what we absolutely can do is - choose how to live in our micro-world. You can’t change the whole world, but you can manage your own. You don’t need to do things just because everyone else is doing it. You know what you want out of life, and you need to know how to get it. You bend the rules for what you stand for, let the people around you accept it, however uncommon it might be.

Relationships are the biggest part of human existence that’s hugely altered with digital world and social networking, today. Nothing took the hit like relations between people. On the surface we think it connected us, but we were never more apart then right at this moment. We think we have better access in knowing who exists where and knowing who people are; when in reality, we don’t know anything. We don’t know people. We can’t know them based on what then allow us to see on social media.

Some people are more skilled in creating their online persona, some are less. There can be so many cool people around who just don’t know how to post good photos, who don’t know how to showcase their personality (or even care to do so); and then there are those empty shells of people playing the social game so well, you can’t tell how dull and uninteresting they really are in real life.

Don’t get fooled. Use social media to learn things, see things, share things worth knowing about. But don’t use it for romantic purposes, just don’t. The fail is almost guaranteed. Your time will be wasted. You’ll give idiots a direct access to you. Any energy you allow close to you will alter you in some way. Its not harmless, it stays with you. Then you have to spend your own time and your own energy to rid yourself from it.

Feel free to share bellow in the comments if you had an opposite, great experience in meeting someone online rather then in person. Love to hear some success stories.

Mine, well one that I have to tell is a bullseye example of how it’s an guaranteed fail. There was this guy I saw on one of the social media platforms, knew the name, knew few people in common. When I scroll through people, I add them if I see something interesting about them; what they say, mostly their creativity, or an interesting look, and if they share things I’m interested in seeing.

This guy had a great look, his photos are so creative, even the stupidest detail he shoots, it’s always placed so well. Creativity is the trait I find most interesting and intriguing in people. We started to like eachother’s photos, we started to talk on the platform, off the platform. I insisted to talk on the phone, not just that typing crap that tells you nothing about people. Then I wanted to see some videos of him, to see if he’s anything like the pictures. I wanted to hear him speak, see what he’s saying, how does he communicate, what’s the color of his voice, how does he move. Long story short - he’s nothing like his profile shows. The essence of what he’s trying to show online, in relation to what his essence really is, two complete different people.

In the photos, he is sexy in the unbothered way, creative, funny, interesting. In real life (I mean in movement and real conversation), he is not attractive at all, he’s awkward, talks like a child, he has nothing to say, can’t keep a conversation about godamn anything. He might be one of the dullest people I have ever "met" in my entire life. The way he’s constructing his sentences when he’s trying to tell me something, I basically want someone to shot me, rather then endure another minute.

In the same time, literally few days apart, my friend persistently wants me to meet some guy friend of his. I say no, because everyone’s always trying to match me up with someone, and I hate that. I’m so specific in what I like; I’m not that type of woman interested in tall, dark, has money classic crap half the women on this planet strive for. I’m weird. I like what I like, I like the vibe, voice, creativity, some certain steadiness of a mind and soul that can not be explained with words, I like the specific walk, talk, the way they spin the wheel while driving; therefore, when people think they can match me up, I almost get insulted. Anyone thinking they know what I like, please.

So I keep saying no to this friend on friend action. Buy my buddy's persistent. He really thinks I should meet this guy of his. See him on social media, he says. He’s cute and really cool, check it out, he says. I go look, uhm, no. That profile, nothing. Pics are dull, captions are just not interesting, no creativity, no nothing. Face expressions, I don't know, I just don't see it. So again, I say no.

Then few days later this guy appears in front of me, completely different group of mutual friends, as if the universe conspired against me to show me, to remind me to value real, human connection. As I said, suddenly, he’s standing in front of me, in person. And he turned out to be the total, scary opposite of his online persona.

He was smart, steady, interesting, he was sexy, and most importantly he was so secure in everything that was happening, we bounced off each other so well; every word, every touch that happened by accident or the one that happened on purpose. Mind you, I did not want to go near that person.

Social media. It’s not real life. It’s all of us trying to show something that might or might not be truthful; maybe we want to show too much, or we don’t know how to show enough; you can’t know anything by seeing someone’s picture or reading his curated pre-planned bio that was designed to cover something or show something that’s not there.

Fuck that phone, go out. Explore. Lift your head up from the screen, and look at people. Look at the vibe. Find that chemical thing that comes out of people, toward you, an attraction, lust, mental connection that can’t penetrate no screen.

Live.