Taking It Personal

I know. Prison Break returns today after 7 years! I don't want to cheat you into reading this article; this post is not about tonight's premiere. It's aboutWentworth Miller. Isn't HE the Prison Break? Yes, but no he isn't. He's so much more. Infinitely more.

This man's brain, attitude, essence has been a source of unbelievable inspiration for me. Which part? How much time you've got? His speeches on Youtube and the notes from his advocacy are what I look into daily when I need a pick me up from human folly. And the savage way he protects his sanity and self-care became my blueprints, inspiration and how to - all in one.

If you're looking for the same type of inspiration, the most you'll find is on his Facebook Page. I read Went’s notes on FB religiously. He decided to go on a posting hiatus while the Prison Break is on, and while I understand his dismay with fame & attention, I miss the guidance. The perfect amount of solitude, sensitivity, openness, and a dash of healthy arrogance while telling you to go fuck yourself if you came on his page looking for Michael Scofield. There’s no Michael there. He does not give a rat's ass if you are a fan. He worked hard on the new series. Go watch it if you want. Or don’t. But this is his personal space. And in his personal (online) space, he doesn't like to be told what to feel.

Ever since we started to play this social media game, I strongly felt these platforms don't mean you are invited to give your opinions like cheap beauty products. No one's asking you for it. You can go and leave your opinions on Huffington Post. Someone's social media is their personal space, where they make rules, where you should come to "grab" something you like, something that inspires you, and skip what doesn't.

Wentworth likes to read the comments on his page and get inspired while inspiring others. He gets affected with positivity. And he gets affected with random negativity. I'm hugely annoyed with those "well-wishers" that parachute on your profile telling you how you should feel, masking their condescendence into worry or help. "Don’t let that bug you Miranda, just ignore, brush it off, come on Miranda let it slide!" I'm completely lost at the idea of someone thinking they can give advice to a stranger just because they saw him or her in a magazine once or twice. Let alone telling you how should feel and insisting you be positive, light, and fluffy.

To be considered cool in today’s norms is to feign aloofness for the public. On your profiles. For people to see. You being unbothered. Light. Doesn't matter what problems you might or haven't left your bed for a week - always show positivity on your social media. What pile of bullshit! Show how you feel. Be real. Connect to people with your hurt. It will pass. Dwell on it if you need to. Have your space. Go through your space. Be a real motherfucker, FEEL. Say how you feel.

It's poetry, how much Wentworth hates people coming to his FB Page to tell him how he should feel. Especially when he writes about something that touched him, and people comment - “Don’t take it so personally!” Or in his words:

“Not long ago I posted something and one of the follow-up comments was, “Why do you have to take everything so personally?” Because it’s my personal page. Kidding. (Kind of.)”

Then he’s going to give you the Wentworth Miller sass and you do not want to be on the receiving end of an Ivy League sass who is an unprecedented ruler of the written word, no less -

“The best actors have learned to Take It Very Personally. Whatever “It” is. They’re reactive. Sensitive. And the world - busy Manning Up and Buttoning Down - pays good money to watch.”

Gone.

“I thinned my skin. Intentionally. That learned openness doesn’t just click off when the director yells “Cut!” It’s interesting to me how some folks will tsk-tsk when a well-known actor spins out in public. “Dra-ma!” Well. Yeah. That’s why they’re well-known and not still waiting tables.”

Gone!

Taking it personally, being sensitive, vulnerable; that's not your weakness. Get it out of your head! It’s your power. How so? Watch this amazing TED talk on the subject. I’ll break it down for you. Being vulnerable is connecting with another human being. And connection is why we’re here. Vulnerability is a struggle with our worthiness BUT also a birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging, love. And you can’t selectively numb feelings. When you numb hard feelings and vulnerability; you numb joy, gratitude, happiness, too. And you do not want to numb those. Or any!

Vulnerability is the key to freedom.

And when you feel vulnerable, you can embrace it, say it, share it, be authentic and real, or you can swallow it inside and blame others. Do you know what’s definition of BLAME described in research? A way to discharge pain and discomfort.

I’m very strong (I had to be), and most of the time I appear arrogant. Is it an LA thing? Everyone with intelligence and attitude is arrogant or rude in LA. This joint just does not know how to deal with individuality and authenticity. Directness. Truth.

I also hurt. I hurt rare, but when I do, it’s Forth of July fireworks hurt. Am I weak? Not in a million years. But am I vulnerable? Abso-fucking-lutely. Because I feel. Because something happened and I feel it. And I want to dwell in my vulnerability; it can have the power BEFORE I regain my power. I want to memorize this moment and why it happened. Because by living in it, I’m creating “a certain quality of space”. My vulnerability makes me this person you, now reading this - wonder, how I can make all this happen, write this article on 1-hour sleep (I don't even sleep anymore, I nap) before I'll start my day and do 4 meetings and 2 projects, and a therapy session, and late lunch and see a friend who came back to town, and I’ll finish all that by 9 pm, just in time for the Prison Break; andI can do it all BECAUSE I’m vulnerable. Because I FEEL.

And the piece that started this whole post idea? The original Wentworth post about Taking it Personally, being sensitive and vulnerable. A must-read, my keepsake I keep coming back to, re-reading every time my sanity needs some reassurance -

“I think being sensitive is a good thing. I think Taking It Personally is a good thing. It’s made me the man/actor/writer I am today. I wouldn’t change that for anything. I would say being sensitive is what makes us human. That people who Take It Personally change the world. Get sh-t done. Why? Because we Make It Personal. Whatever “It” is. I would also say that, being sensitive, it serves me to continue to practice being sensitive to others. To practice holding a certain quality of space. To assess, to the best of my abilities, whether what someone says to me, about me, or around me is really about them. Not me. And react accordingly. Sometimes being sensitive looks like knowing when I don’t need to Take It Personally.”

A Certain quality of space. Let that sink in. Happy Prison Break Day!