Wow. Grow Up.

Last couple of weeks there was a lot of talk about my love life; you know when you’re so damn hungry but you don’t have time to eat or food in your fridge and you cross that point of being hungry, you become so overly hungry that you not even hungry anymore? That’s me with all that shit. It’s so much, it’s so trivial to me. All of it. The media, the people, friends, random people asking me questions I don’t even answer to my family.....I’m flatlining it all.I joke sometimes that I collect people like some folks collect stamps or coins. People are mostly annoying and uninteresting. But when they’re great, I want to “have” them. I have a pretty impressive “portfolio” of people all over the world that are my friends, acquaintances, people I just hang out, or the one’s that will always do shit for me, where ever they might be in the world, or I for them. Some of them are extremely successful, some of them are famous (annoying word, but find me a better one and insert) that if I named them here your head would spin, and some of them are the most badass people in the world who don’t need anything to be just that = naturally royally badass. My friends joke about my epic networking and wonder; how the fuck do you do it?See, all of the things I mentioned above collide in one phrase. Being APPROPRIATE. There’s only two things that matter most in terms of how much you’ll achieve in life and I strongly believe those two things are being realistic and being appropriate. You don’t agree? Think about anything in this world, anything you want or need, and I can probably find the way to get it, fix it, find it, organize it for you. It’s all people and connections, yes, but mostly it’s knowing how to deal with each and every one.How do I do it? Simple. I try to be appropriate. I know how to behave. I know when to talk and when to shut the fuck up, when to ask, when to be quiet, I know the difference between acquaintances, people I just casually know or great friends I can talk to about anything. I treat high profile people like everyone else, if i’m late for dinners with everyone, i’ll be late for dinners with them too, I will not act differently. I listen, I see, I analyze people, I figure out what they’re all about and I try to stay away from things that annoy them and highlight things they care about. But to manage all that YOU HAVE TO KNOW A PERSON. In order to know how to deal with someone, you have to know them.Most importantly, I’m not aggressive. You can not force anyone. You can not force people to like you, to want to hang out with you, you can not force people to be your friends. When I see some folks I do not know sending me pointless messages that have absolutely no function other than creating the feel we’re friends, it just does not work, and it puts people off. It puts me off to no tomorrow! One needs to chill and just let it happen if it needs to. To try not to bug people and let them be, one thing I hold accountable for why relationships between people work out or not. I can not begin to explain how annoyed I am when people roar around me; “why do you eat this”, “why don’t you sleep”, “why don’t you smile more”....... why this or that, it’s so fucking low class expecting people should be the way you imagined them to be.Social Networks? It’s where all this gets more highlighted and even more irritating. You watch someone’s life online and you feel like you know them, and then you start communicating in a manner that can be annoying because you are not appropriate, you just can’t be, it’s not your or anyone’s fault, you cannot know what’s appropriate if you don’t know the person. How to deal then? Do not butt into private stuff, do not get personal in the first convo, do not annoy or ask too much if you don’t know someone at least a bit, just let it be, hear, feel out. Chat casually and it will grow into something if it needs to. Don’t go into private territories or give advices to people you do not know. It’s silly and unwanted, and completely unnecessary.Where am I going? In last two weeks I received exactly 158 Facebook messages asking me about my love life. Asking me, advising me, expressing sorrow, rage, or just plain noisiness to want to know “what exactly happen”. Now, I understand the hard knock lives people lead, I understand my life might seem unlike, crazy or shiny to some that practice daily movements consisting of bed-sofa-computer and reverse; but how does one think they can read about someone else’s love life in the press and dramatize the idea of what it might be, without knowing me, or ever talking to me in their lives, how ever scandalous it might seem; get this, it gets better; DEMANDING I explain to them “what happened” or “the real truth” as how they put it.I just can not get my head around it. I understand I lead somewhat public life and people that get information, form their opinions. It’s how media feeds it’s dragon. I get it. I also understand my 8 year relationship that was also public became somewhat a synonym for kind of love people want or think they want in their lives, but see, holding me accountable for shattering your imaginative dream or perception, it’s just not how it works with me. I do not want to be held accountable for it, nor I want to explain myself. I don’t need to make sense to you, I’m not into being loved or understood, I’m only into being ME. Why not say what’s going on, to stop people speculating, one of my friends advised me the other day? See that’s just it. I like being mute. I learned the hard way people will judge you either way, for bad stuff or good stuff you might tell them. You can not win. Being quiet. Now that’s a little win. Being quiet. There’s nothing better in this world, and trust me on that. Whether you deal with something similar to my issue or anything else that might occur in your social life, I tell you - never speak. When you do, you’re just giving people free ammunition to aim at you later.As for me, please stop worrying or try to figure me out, if you’re the one of those that practices it. I do what I want to do, I don’t look back, I live 100 miles an hour and everything that’s happening in my love life, it’s how I want it to be. There’s so many things we can talk about; beautiful, interesting, socially important, things to admire, exchange or pay attention to in this world. Every thought takes energy and time. It’s so easy to fill our minds with shiny, useless information then to occupy it with substance that actually matter.WOW. GROW UP. Let’s all.End scene.

I will never, ever stop being fascinated with the constant fascination with relationships. Especially other people’s relationships. Living vicariously through other people, wanting to know what the hell is going on in their lives, there’s something so pedestrian about it.

I don’t give a damn about it. I’ll read about other people’s relationships if the article or information lands before my eyes, but I won’t seek it on my own. I won’t dissect it, or analyze it; aren’t you tired of your own relationships to care about other people’s?

I significantly care more about what the people I read about wore, what they had on when they went to Pumpkin Patch, or how they walked out of the club in the wee hours and if the lipstick is still on.

I also like to see where they jog or what they had on while jogging, was it properly picked gym attire, or was it more like in the Hank Moody alley of cut jean shorts, a short sleeve tee over a long sleeve tee, knee length sock....that sorta thing.

Also, I always wonder if they swing Coffee Bean or Starbucks. It’s important. Personally, I’m a Coffee Bean.

My relationship. 8 years and running. A godamn lifetime. Did I ever think I can hold that long without killing myself, or him; no. But I made it. I fucking made it.

All the people you’re going to be with, take my advice on it since, naturally, I’m an expert now - they will go on your nerves, I guarantee you that. Soak it, and put the sock in it. Mine, he pisses me off, often. Why? It all goes into that default socks all over the place - video game combo.

But I’m so happy exactly he is the one I picked to annoy me for this long. If you going to pick the one that’ll annoy you, you might as well pick a good annoyer. Mine is monumentally talented in everything he does. He annoys, he loves, he tolerates, he sees.

The best thing about him; he sees really well! He sees things no one else sees. His eyes are kinda small, but boy he sees well.

People like problems. People don’t like when you don’t give them problems. I have problems with about every single aspect of humanity; you name it, I have problems with it! Everything. The only thing I truly know how to do right is - boys.

And there’s just one I dated at some point in my life that I do not talk to today. I’m friends with everyone I have been with, even my first, 15-year-old boyfriend. Sometimes, I even talk to his mother.

Weird, I know. But that’s just how I do things, and my level of expertise.

It’s important to stay good with the boys you were once in a relationship with, I feel. I keep them all in check. That one? Check! That order one? Check! I never understood why women halt all contact with men they were once in a relationship with, but have tons of girlfriends on deck. Why would that be any different? Unless it’s an ugly, disrespectful breakup, I don’t see why you can’t stay on good terms with someone you shared every minute of your life with.

My infamous relationship came into question because, quote, he spend his birthday in Croatia, and I in Los Angeles, un-quote.

Would you look at that?

A full-on red-blooded scandal! With pics and all! Call the presses!

Out of all the things the human mind can make up, THAT’s what they come up with? Who? All of them, friends that wish you well, and media with their platitudes. I like the approach, though. You have to admire the approach. I always worshiped individuals that presented unimportant crap like a freshly typed Ph.D. thesis from Harvard. They researched this and all.

I strongly believe that the people who write this idiocy are the same people convinced by their parents they are special. Those are the ones that single-handedly made this planet what it is today; pure fuckery.

How can people believe what they read about? Assumptions about someone else’s life, and take it at face value. Especially women, we know this, we go through this. If you get served a story telling you how another woman is bad and she fucked up her relationship because she decided what she needs to do is more important than a man’s bday party, you take that as a fact?

And give me some credit. If I wanted to stir the masses, I’d give you something worthwhile.

I’m not going to do it pussy style, I’ll do it in a real full-on mayhem style. Ok? Ok. Glad we had that talk.

Oh, you thought I would actually explain the state of my relationship or the breakup in this post? The real truth? Sorry. I don’t do that.

I like you to be in limbo. You’re on your own.

After all, I always say gossip is like a buffet; everyone picks what they want to believe.

And I’m ok with whatever you chose to eat.